it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
