I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize