Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
