Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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