At least make sure they are 18
Why
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
