yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
