okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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