Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
