I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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