these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
A+ Viking dick
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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