VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
