The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
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Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
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I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
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They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I would fuck him just for his dog
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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