Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We left the knife in your bed.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
