Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
