it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
