his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize