Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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