My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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