We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
