I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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