Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize