I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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