Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
