we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My ATM looks so different sober.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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