Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
