so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
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