the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
