What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
