id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
