its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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