She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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