No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So much rum. So many feels.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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