Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
