I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
