if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
