apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
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Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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