yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
