Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
