And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You left your phone here
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