the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
