I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Randomize
