Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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