She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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