hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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