Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize