You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
