did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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