i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
