if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
