Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
