Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Sorry my hands just texted you
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
