I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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