you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
