I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
This house was built for laser tag.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
