i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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