i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
