He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize