do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
