His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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