talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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