Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
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All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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