oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
