Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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