I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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