Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
