she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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