and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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