I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
